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The Birdcage鈥檚 25th Anniversary reminds me of an uncomfortable night sitting in a darkened movie theatre on a hot and steamy evening in Cairns, Far North Queensland in 1996 – with my parents of all people, sitting next to me.

A total accident that could only have happened in regional Queensland in the mid 90鈥檚 when the internet wasn鈥檛 really a thing yet and researching a movie you hadn鈥檛 heard about but had free tickets to just wasn鈥檛 a thing you could do!听

If you had free tickets to the movies, you went to the movies!

And so that鈥檚 how the three of us ended up at the Cairns premier of The Birdcage and by the end of the first minute… I鈥檓 tense, to say the least.听

Kill me now, please

I mean, I鈥檓 watching six drag queens absolutely slay their performance of the iconic Sister Sledge song 鈥淲e Are Family鈥� but all I can think about is the fact that mum is next to me, with dad next to her and me, – their closeted gay son who couldn鈥檛 ever imagine uttering those life changing words – 鈥淢um and Dad, I鈥檓 Gay鈥� – cringing next to them.

Also, absolutely knowing that there definitely wasn鈥檛 a God because if there was, she鈥檇 have let the ground open and swallow me up, right there and then.

But it didn鈥檛 happen, dang it, which lead into the next extremely tense moment – THE KISS ON THE LIPS between Armand and Val.

I mean sure, it was a fatherly kiss between parent and child but that fact wasn鈥檛 immediately clear and the groan that rose from every single straight man in the audience, including Dad was deafening – to my hyper sensitive ears at least.

But then, something miraculous and amazing happened!听

By the time the credits rolled, the lights came up and the vision of Gene Hackman in that stunning silver dress and huge blonde wig was etched into your memory forever, everyone in the audience was smiling and buzzy, including my folks!听

The Birdcage made my coming out easier

I truly believe this movie made my coming out 18 months later possible and may have even encouraged my parents to prompt that coming out听 – an absolutely huge legacy for this small-town closeted gay kid from Queensland, who was pretty convinced he was doomed to a half life of lies and misery, and children.

Watching it back recently, I was also struck by how the of what was considered 鈥渕anly鈥� – a concept I still struggle with as a 40-ish year old gay man, who was considered 鈥榮oft鈥� or 鈥榚motional鈥� as a kid and as a young man in his early 20鈥檚.听

I find myself reflecting on those themes again now, while we in Australia are having long overdue discussions about what masculinity should look like.

I鈥檝e realised as I鈥檝e gotten older and more self aware that these qualities that saw me being bullied by manly males for being 鈥榮oft鈥� or 鈥榚motional鈥� are exactly the same qualities that, as an adult, have made me a better type of man because I have the ability to be empathetic to others – which means I can be there to support my family and friends when they need me most. 听

The Birdcage鈥檚 25th Anniversary is a good excuse

So, treat yourself to a that has aged very well and is worth another look at, even if it鈥檚 just for the surprising cast members you forgot were in it!听

Including Christine Baranski and her long dancers legs stepping through a dance routine with Robin Williams or the sight of Dan Futterman playing the sometimes cruel Val and remembering that some time later he played the role of 鈥榗oming out of the closet Barry鈥�,听 Karen Walker鈥檚 gay cousin in Will and Grace!

The Birdcage, including the French original and its sequel, are available to watch on Stan.