‘It was like a weight off my shoulders’
MUSIC is central to Jordan Raskopoulos鈥� life. She is, after all, the lead singer of award-winning music comedy trio Axis of Awesome.
But a few years ago, music was about to play a much more critical role in a new chapter in her life. After years of living with gender dysphoria, Raskopoulos realised she was trans and made the decision to transition, to finally present as her true gender.
鈥淭he playlist was important. I needed to remain patient and motivated through the first year of hormonal transition,鈥� she explains.
鈥淚 had a bunch of songs by Against Me! – their lead singer is trans and many of the songs reflect her experience.
鈥淏ut I also found that songs about change or songs about a boy longing for a girl were also comforting.鈥�
Raskopoulos credits Mark Ronson鈥檚 cover of Apply Some Pressure by Maximo Park as being especially important. With lyrics like 鈥渂ehind your veil I found the body underneath and I hope that I am still alive next year/You know that I would love to see you in that dress鈥�, it鈥檚 easy to understand how they would speak to a person who was struggling with their gender identity.
Raskopoulos is one of Australia鈥檚 most recognised comedians who has appeared on the The Ronnie Johns Half Hour Show, Thank God You鈥檙e Here and the comedy website for video gamers, Insert Coin. Axis of Awesome has released six albums, has millions of views on their YouTube channel and are veteran performers at some of the world鈥檚 most popular comedy festivals.
The 34-year-old comedian famously came out in a video on Axis of Awesome鈥檚 Facebook page titled What Happened to Jordan鈥檚 Beard? in February this year. It has since racked up almost 300,000 views.
鈥淚 was given some advice before coming out – to do it in a way that people knew me and we do funny videos, so I made a funny video,鈥� she says.
Before coming out publicly she wrote some articles under a pseudonym for the website Junkee in 2015 about her transitioning experience, only a few months after coming out to her family and friends in late 2014.
鈥淚 had a series of comings out. I came out to the people closest to me in person, one at a time,鈥� she says.
鈥淭he hardest thing about coming out as trans is that聽you also need to do a bit of educating during the process. So not only did I need to get over the emotions and nerves I also had to field a barrage of questions and explain that I wasn鈥檛 a cross-dresser or a drag queen.
鈥淚n the end I composed a FAQ (frequently asked questions) and emailed it to people after having the talk.聽Each step has been very relieving. Once that final video went out all the frustration and anxiety that had gone hand in hand with being closeted started to melt away.鈥�
Raskopoulos describes feeling exhausted after her coming out video went viral and the media attention that followed. In the video she asked people 鈥渘ot to be a dickhead鈥� about her news and said people have been supportive.
Finally coming out was a relief for Raskopoulos who says it is much better 鈥榦n the other side鈥�.
鈥�(I鈥檓) experiencing the dysphoria less and less. A lot of people don鈥檛 seem to understand that there鈥檚 a physical sensation that comes from being unable to express your gender or feeling that your body isn鈥檛 true to it,鈥� she explains.
鈥淚t鈥檚 an awful feeling of despair. It鈥檚 not completely gone but I feel it less and less especially since there鈥檚 now a smiley girl looking back it me through the mirror instead of that sad hairy man.鈥�
Determined to get rid of that hairy man, Raskopoulos decided to get healthy and making music again was central to her mission.
鈥淲hen I decided to transition I was very overweight and unhealthy. I guess I鈥檇 felt that if I鈥檇 taken care of myself better I鈥檇 still have a man鈥檚 body that I hated, so I may as well eat all the cakes,鈥� she says.
鈥淲hen I decided to transition I was motivated to have a fit woman鈥檚 body. So I built a playlist of songs to motivate me and started running, a lot.
鈥淚 lost a bunch of weight and was able to run in the 14km City to Surf.鈥�
Next up for Raskopoulos and Axis of Awesome is another run at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival, but most importantly for the comedian, it鈥檚 enjoying 鈥榯he weight that has come off her shoulders鈥� since starting her transition.
鈥淭ransition can be hard, but it鈥檚 better to be yourself than to carry on pretending,鈥� she says.
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