Comments on: The subtext to acceptance (Meeting the in-laws)

By: Garth Liddell

Garth Liddell — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 05:59:00 +0000

In reply to Daniel Philps. Daniel, Interesting that we are both unhappy with the article, but, for very different reasons. Interesting also that people with causes to push want, maybe even demand that everyone gets in line with their mode of thinking. I'd say you appear to be more angry with him than I am (even though you should both be on the same side slaying the common forces of evil). In Sam's defence he isn't an educated older gay Queenslander and his article quite obviously wasn't a political or historic piece intent on educating the ignorant or uninformed. In addition you are the person that dictates what opinions people should have and whether they should publish them to history of the planet? Give me a break, you sound as bad if not worse than those you are trying to supress. The vehicle of change for Gay Rights or any other cause for that matter does not require that everyone dies in the trenches.

By: Garth Liddell

Garth Liddell — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 05:31:27 +0000

An Interesting article, probably the stereotypical sort of thing one would expect from another angry young gay man I imagine. It starts with lies and progresses to condescending vague untruths. The picture is not of his boyfriend at his home. Why start an article of this nature with a blatant lie? I have never met Sam but obviously being recognised as someone’s boyfriend is important to him. I assume this importance magically transfers to Brad. If it was so important to Brad, why hasn’t he used some ancient technology, put pen to paper and let HIS family and friends know; Hey people I AM gay and my current boyfriends name is Sam, etc, etc. Not all of us ancient relatives are tech savy, although I did get onto this article by clicking a link in something that Brad liked in his Facebook and for that I am grateful as it then allowed me to broach the subject “officially” with his mother. Back to Brad, He is an adult, surely he is old enough to announce himself rather than waiting for his mother (yet again) to do it for him. I’d venture every town in Australia has more servos than openly gay men. The traditional family (husband & wife and maybe kids) is exactly that, in ALL of Australia. Acceptance? what precisely does that mean? There’s a big difference between say, knowing someone is gay and lovingly opening your arms and accepting unconditionally. I can only imagine what Brad’s parents went/ have “gone through”/are going through inviting Sam into the lives and home. To read this article (apparently written without any malicious intent) and it’s (in my opinion) totally condescending tone makes me angry. Sam bags everything basically. Its remarkable that there are actually towns outside of Capital cities that are able to function without embracing gay men? Amazing. But Sam is right about one thing; being gay is not always front page news especially for us “normal, married, straight, hard working, slap U on the back, keeping the country going, living and working outside Capital cities BLOKES. If you and Brad come to stay at my place I hope u don’t move the single beds together because that’s the way the bedroom is set up and its that way for everyone; even Brads Mum and Dad. Uncle Garth

By: Paul of Forbes NSW

Paul of Forbes NSW — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 15:56:17 +0000

In reply to Daniel Philps. You think that's bad about the Queensland prior to 1991 sodomy law, try Tasmania's sodomy law when prior to 1997 - a gay man can be charged and go straight to jail for 25 years! Even with a federal sexual privacy law back in 1994 under Paul Keating, tried to stop the arrests of gay men within all of Australia! And I was only 11 years old in 1997 and today I am 29 years old. About 5 years ago I became a full advocate for the NSW regional LGBTI community! In 2015, hopefully marriage equality, ending trans/homophobia and intersex recognition on birth certificates for all us Aussies becomes a reality and not just a dream!

By: Tim

Tim — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 12:21:41 +0000

Beautiful piece! My parents went through the same process with me and my boyfriend, but a few months ago they summed up the courage to tell the relatives. I took 8 years to come out. My parents took 8 months. I’m immensely proud of them and I’m sure one day soon your boyfriend will feel the same too.

By: Daniel Philps

Daniel Philps — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 14:23:55 +0000

In reply to Daniel Philps. Samuel's name is spelt with an e, not an a, Clive. You're in publishing. I have no problem with "nuanced" articles nor personal perspectives, when they are purely recounting a personal perspective. But when they extend to inferring that it is ok for young gay people to be disappeared by their own families, then I will absolutely respond, and loudly so, because our existence matters, and if we don't appear, we don't exist.

By: Clive Miller

Clive Miller — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 13:55:41 +0000

In reply to Daniel Philps. Samual's article was thoughtful and nuanced. You have every right to put another view but be great if it could be done respectfully.

By: Daniel Philps

Daniel Philps — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 12:40:31 +0000

Don’t mean to rain on your parade Samuel, but in reference to your last line, you actually do need one. “All gay men” do not have to occasionally push the single beds together: the ones who do tolerate that nonsense are the ones with low self esteem and internalised homophobia that they learned, at a very young and influential age, from the “good blokes” and their wives who took you crab fishing (but won’t publicly acknowledge the fact that their son is gay and you are his partner). Spare us all this apologist nonsense and learn some self respect. If you cannot do that, stop being a writer who writes articles that tell vulnerable young Queenslanders to “stay quiet” and “be patient”. Do you have any idea that less than 25 years ago in QLD you and your boyfriend could be sent to jail for 14 years for sodomy under the criminal code, before law reform? Do you have any idea how intellectually lazy and politically and historically uninformed your article is? As a result of these facts, can you even begin to imagine how angry your article would make an educated older gay Queenslander? If you or your partner die without a will, his parents or yours can exclude you from the funeral and exclude you from everything else, including getting access to resources that you paid for and created during your time together. So spare everyone your apologist BS and think more deeply before you put fingers to keyboard. This article is appalling. Why the SSO deemed it publishable is utterly beyond comprehension.

By: Fox Swan

Fox Swan — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 10:44:33 +0000

Yep I was the flatmate… I love telling that in front of the “mother-in-law” to other people…
Her husband of course is introduced as her flatmate to my gay friends ….lol

By: Kevin Braun

Kevin Braun — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 05:12:22 +0000

Carol Braun

By: Brian Jones

Brian Jones — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 03:42:48 +0000

Oh. We know the feeling. even after 52 years together. Always hurts.