Gay Men Share What Defines Cheating In An Open Relationship
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If you鈥檙e in a non-monogamous relationship there are probably boundaries that you can鈥檛 cross with a secondary partner/side piece. Maybe it鈥檚 no kissing. Maybe no sleepovers. Maybe you have a 鈥榙on鈥檛 ask, don鈥檛 tell鈥� policy, or maybe you have no boundaries and the sky’s the limit.聽
Recently, a conversation started on the Askgaybros thread on Reddit on what constitutes a bridge too far.聽
What’s Your Line In The Sand?
The question asked, 鈥淚f you鈥檙e in an open relationship what is your line in the sand for cheating?”
One user shared, 鈥淚f they are getting emotionally involved with another guy or spends me time with him than me.鈥�
Another wrote, 鈥淵eah, mine wasn’t when he had sex with someone else, but when they went to a Disney movie. Everyone’s lines in the sand are different and they don’t have to make sense.鈥�
One person explained, 鈥淔or me, no lines in the sand. People make mistakes, even people we love. We all deserve honesty, but we also all deserve understanding and forgiveness. Also feelings are part of openness. Romantic feelings, confusing feelings, feelings that change individuals and relationships.
鈥淪o I would say “cheating” isn’t really a thing in my opinion. That doesn’t mean there isn’t such a thing as bad behaviour. Buy I don’t relate to the idea of 鈥榯he unforgivable relationship-sin that can ruin everything.鈥�鈥�
‘Only Cheating If Emotional Involvement Occurs’
鈥淚t’s only cheating if emotional involvement occurs and they start get romantic behind my back,鈥� read another comment.聽
They continued, 鈥淥ther violations exist but I wouldn’t classify them as cheating, just a breach of trust. Not using a condom, lying about a hookup happening, etc.鈥�
A person who has been in an open relationship for over 20 years shared, 鈥淓motional involvement without us discussing it.鈥澛�
They added, 鈥淏oth of us have had outside people we really liked a lot. We discussed it and kept very close tabs on our level of commitment. I think, though, that had one of us really started to become deeply involved with someone else, we would have considered a polyamorous relationship rather than break up.聽
鈥淭he issue for us isn’t 鈥榗an you love someone other than me?鈥� it’s more like 鈥榳ould you stop loving me?鈥欌��
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