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鈥淚 SHOULD have won an Oscar for my performances because I think I did a very good take on a straight man,鈥� Michael Kirby says.

鈥淚 can still do it, if the needs arise.鈥�

[showads聽ad=MREC]Since stepping down from the High Court in 2009, Australia鈥檚 longest serving judge has kept himself busy by, among other things, looking into human rights abuses in North Korea for the UN and working with organisations promoting LGBTI inclusion.

However, despite knowing he was gay from a young age, Kirby didn鈥檛 publicly reveal his sexuality until he was 61.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 believe I was ever positively deceptive, I simply wasn鈥檛 positively honest,鈥� he says.

Homosexuality remained illegal in NSW until Kirby was well into his 40s.

鈥淚t鈥檚 hard for people to understand now the fear that having criminal laws targeted against you causes in the mind,鈥� he recalls.

While he was studying at the University of Sydney in the 1950s, a particular figure of dread was NSW police commissioner Colin Delaney.

鈥淗e announced there was an epidemic of sexual perversion and formulated a crusade that meant even if you were not involved in any sexual activity 鈥� which I wasn鈥檛 鈥� somebody might make an allegation against you even if was false,鈥� he says.

Kirby remembers safety lay in silence: 鈥淚t was a lonely time and I鈥檓 rather resentful of what was inflicted on me by my country and my society.鈥�

Solace came from American academic Alfred Kinsey whose groundbreaking reports, published in the late 1940s and early 1950s, are credited with changing attitudes towards homosexuality.

鈥淔ollowing Kinsey鈥檚 investigations I knew that I was not alone, there was nothing wrong and it was simply a variation in nature,鈥� Kirby says.

In 1969, when he was approaching 鈥渢he ripe old age of 30鈥�, he headed into a bar in Sydney鈥檚 Kings Cross and stumbled across the man who would become his life partner.

Before long, Johan van Vloten was invited to Sunday night dinner with the parents.

鈥淚t was a family tradition of ours that any of the children who wanted could come along to have sausages and mash,鈥� Kirby says.

鈥淪o he was brought along and he kept coming year after year, decade after 诲别肠补诲别.鈥�

By this time, most of Kirby鈥檚 family knew about his sexuality. But there was one person in particular with which the topic hadn鈥檛 been broached.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 verbalise it with my mother until she was dying and I felt uncomfortable of severing that bind without having been totally honest to her,鈥� Kirby recalls.

鈥淪o I told her, just before she died, and she looked at me and said, 鈥楳ichael, I didn鈥檛 come down in the last shower鈥�.

鈥溾�榊ou鈥檝e been bringing Johan to Sunday dinner for the last 30 years, do you think I was blind?鈥欌��

In public though, Kirby continued to remain discreet. While known in various circles, being too 鈥渋n your face,鈥� he says, would have precluded him from high judicial office.

鈥淔undamentally it was a trick of the mind,鈥� he Kirby says.

鈥淪o long as you don鈥檛 make us, the majority, face the awful reality that you exist, we will play along with this game and we will recognise your talents.

鈥淏ut if you confront us with your actuality, that is breaking the rules and we will break you.鈥�

Ultimately, it was van Vloten who gave Kirby the final push to go public, saying they owed it to the next generation to be open.

With much negotiation, yet with little fanfare, the publishers of Who鈥檚 Who 鈥� the encyclopaedia of the influential 鈥� agreed to record Van Vloten as Kirby鈥檚 partner in their 1999 edition.

鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 noticed for a while, and when it was one of the newspapers said 鈥榯he non-secret is out鈥�,鈥� Kirby says.

鈥淭here was an attack by one columnist and by a senator but on the whole the world went on.

鈥淭he trains continued to run on time, or not on time, and people got over it. They had a lie down and they felt better the next day.鈥�

He was surrounded by love but his work with a number of LGBTI organisations, including the Pinnacle and Kaleidoscope foundations, has shown him that not every gay person is so lucky.

鈥淚t would be good if everybody did come out and we lived in a society where that would be accepted as easily as left handedness and eventually we may get there,鈥� Kirby says.

鈥淏ut we鈥檙e not there yet and it鈥檚 therefore important that people should face the realities of the challenge that a lot of young people face in coming out and be understanding, kind and supportive.鈥�

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**This article was first published in the September聽edition of the 17c起草社区, which is . To obtain a physical copy, to find out where you can grab one in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, Canberra and select regional/coastal areas.

Read our previous instalments of 鈥淐loset Case鈥�:

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