Frequently you get a call or an email sending out an SOS for a drag queen. Most of the time it鈥檚 usually the day or night before and is very brief.
鈥淲e are looking for an over-the-top drag queen, who is camp and full of life. They need to be colourful but not too colourful. They need to be very Priscilla but softer. They definitely need to look like a drag queen but could pass for a real girl and can you make the audition at 7am tomorrow?鈥�
Needless to say, you have no idea what they are after and you head into the audition blind. Most of the time the clients don鈥檛 even know what they are looking for and even when you turn up, they have no clue, until they see it in front of them.
Last Wednesday afternoon I got such a call.
鈥淢axi, we are after a drag queen, over the top, as colourful as you can, just stand out, sweetie.鈥�
It鈥檚 like a red rag to a bull when you鈥檙e asking a drag queen to stand out.
Putting on every bit of colour I could, wearing the biggest hair and making my boobs as big as I could, I clickety-clacked to the audition. All the familiar faces where there. Verushka was before me and as we were leaving Charisma was entering (I told Charisma they made me take my top off in the audition 鈥� we鈥檝e all seen Showgirls) and the audition went as well as most.
鈥淪tand and smile, walk over there, be crazy, sell the product, jump through a hoop, act normal.鈥�
You smile and off you go.
鈥淗opefully we will let you know if you鈥檙e successful in a day or two.鈥�
From that point, nine times out of 10, you never hear from them again until there鈥檚 another casting.
To my utter surprise, I received a phone call the next day.
鈥淢axi, the clients love you, and want to use you in the national commercial but are having a few issues with your implants.鈥�
Ummm, excuse me? My what?
鈥淵our implants. Are you able to wear something that doesn鈥檛 show them or tape them down? They are a little too racy for the type of ad it is.鈥�
I couldn鈥檛 stop laughing. I told the woman that it鈥檚 as easy as putting smaller ones in, as I didn鈥檛 have implants. They were just a stuffed bra with creative makeup shading. A little embarrassed, she laughed it off and went back to the client.
Within a couple of hours, I was signed, sealed and delivered.
Just a half-day of shooting and the commercial will be in your lounge room in the next couple of weeks.
Watch out Australia, you never know when a drag queen is going to jump up in front of you 鈥� small boobs and everything!
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