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It鈥檚 a double edged sword: as a queer woman, your sex life is objectified if you鈥檙e too femme, or dismissed if you鈥檙e too masc. In light of the recent SlutWalk rally in Melbourne to protest slut-shaming and victim-blaming, Matthew Wade spoke to a queer woman and non-binary person about how their sexual identities are policed in Australia.

Men often fetishise the sex lives of queer women or erase them completely, with little elbow room in between.

When she first came out and started dating women, Natasha Smith was femme-presenting, and her sex life was a point of objectification.

鈥淎 common question at the time was around what I did in bed, but not in a way that made me feel empowered,鈥� she told the 17c起草社区.

鈥淧eople would ask if what I did was really sex, and who the 鈥榤an鈥� was in the bedroom.

鈥淲hen there鈥檚 no man involved other men have to try and figure out what this tantalising thing is鈥� when a woman鈥檚 sexuality isn鈥檛 defined by them they turn it into a form of entertainment.鈥�

On the flip side, Smith believes the sexualities of queer women that are more masc-presenting are often invisible, as they鈥檙e not seen by men as 鈥榬eal鈥� women.

鈥淨ueer women live in this weird dehumanising space where they鈥檙e stigmatised as sex objects for the straight male gaze or they鈥檙e denied,鈥� she said.

For her Master鈥檚 thesis Smith focused on the impact homophobia and sexism had on same-sex attracted women.

She interviewed women aged 18 to 60 and many told her they had experienced street harassment and ogling, with men yelling at them for holding another woman鈥檚 hand.

鈥淭here鈥檚 this idea that you鈥檙e an object but if you fight back and resist that, it comes with the threat of escalating violence,鈥� she said.

For many of her interviewees, revealing their sexuality to a male who may be flirting with them in a nightclub would have damaging repercussions.

鈥淎s soon as they said they were a lesbian, they鈥檇 be called a slut, a dyke, and would be subject to public humiliation,鈥� she said.

While shame and stigma are commonly heaped on the sex lives of queer women, this becomes much more apparent when a queer woman has a more grievous encounter with sexual assault or rape.

According to the United Nations, Australia has one of the highest rates of reported sexual assault in the world, more than double the global average.

However, because men often try to delegitimise the sexualities of queer women, their voices and experiences are left off the table.

Smith believes rape culture affects society at large, but that for queer women it can be particularly damaging.

鈥淚f you鈥檙e a queer woman and you happen to be more masc-presenting there鈥檚 a weird sort of erasure of your sexuality,鈥� she said.

鈥淎nd because people misunderstand rape as something connected to sexuality, many think queer women aren鈥檛 likely to be raped.鈥�

When it comes to survivors of sexual assault and rape, Smith wants to debunk a common misconception: that rape is about sex.

鈥淭here鈥檚 an assumption when it comes to sexual assault and rape that they鈥檙e inherently sexual acts 鈥� but they鈥檙e not,鈥� she said.

鈥淭hey鈥檙e violent acts of power that use sex as the weapon.

鈥淭he myth that rape is somehow related to the sexual attractiveness of women is what leads to the dismissal of the experiences of queer women.鈥�

Beyond the masculine and feminine gender binary that subjects queer women who present either way to sexual fetishisation or erasure, queer women who sit somewhere along the spectrum also face stigma around their sexual identity.

Where Smith recalls being asked intrusive questions about her sex life as a femme-presenting woman, Melbourne resident Luca Vanags-Smith is at times assumed to not have one.

As someone who now identifies as gender queer, Vanags-Smith has seen a noticeable shift in the way her sexual identity has been perceived.

鈥淚 think if you鈥檙e femme you鈥檙e hyper sexualised, and if you don鈥檛 fit the stereotypical model of femininity you鈥檙e invisible,鈥� she said.

鈥淚鈥檝e had the lived experience of being gender queer for about two years and I鈥檓 viewed by many men as being sexless, or as being an asexual creature.

鈥淚 think there鈥檚 also this idea that two people that have vulvas can鈥檛 really have sex because there鈥檚 no penetration involved, so men see women sleeping with each other as entertainment for them.鈥�

The desexualisation and dismissal of masc-presenting or gender queer women can also lead to homophobic views around Vanags-Smith鈥檚 sexual identity and her relationships with other women.

鈥淚 think when I was more femme-presenting people didn鈥檛 take it as seriously, but now my relationships often get pushed into a more heterosexual lens, which isn鈥檛 the case at all 鈥� after three or four months at a job I had, I had to break it to my boss that I wasn鈥檛 in fact a man,鈥� she said.

鈥淚t can definitely erase the queerness of my relationships.

鈥淧eople just assume I must be the one that uses the strap on, when one: that鈥檚 none of their business and two: that isn鈥檛 the case at all.鈥�

Vanags-Smith has also found that heterosexual men will treat her as 鈥榦ne of the guys鈥� and attempt to engage her in a sexist conversation.

鈥淢en will come up to me, point out a particular woman and say, 鈥榮he鈥檚 got a great ass mate,鈥欌�� she said.

鈥淚 know how awful that can make someone feel, especially a same-sex attracted woman.

鈥淚鈥檝e also had guys calling me love and telling me I just haven鈥檛 had a good fuck, and asking me how I have sex.鈥�

As a means to combat this, Vanags-Smith believes sex education in schools needs to become increasingly sex positive.

She also added that sexist attitudes and misogyny are the bedrock of homophobia, transphobia, and whorephobia.

鈥淲ith same-sex intimate relationships between women, men don鈥檛 really fit into that equation,鈥� she said.

鈥淎nd some see that as affronting.鈥�

Melbourne recently played host to the annual SlutWalk rally, a march developed as a means to protest the slut-shaming and victim-blaming of women around the world, irrespective of gender or sexual identity.

It was created in Canada in 2011 after a police officer said 鈥渨omen should avoid dressing like sluts鈥� if they wanted to avoid being sexually assaulted.

In Melbourne the rally sees speakers with a diverse range of experiences speaking out against misogyny and rape culture, and how it affects women.

Smith believes SlutWalk does well at being as inclusive as it can be, particularly now that the conversation around trans and queer identities has become more prominent.

鈥淲hen I started going to SlutWalk I wasn鈥檛 as out as I am now, and it was through being emerged in the march that I found a community of feminists that understood me,鈥� she said.

鈥淭hey enabled me to grow into someone I鈥檓 very proud of and to be comfortable in my sexuality.鈥�

Vanags-Smith said she loves SlutWalk because it changes people鈥檚 opinions of what a sexual assault survivor might look like, to include women of different ages, cultural backgrounds, and sex ual and gender identities.

鈥淚t acknowledges that there may be people who are femme and attractive, but there may be women who don鈥檛 fit these archetypes who may also experience sexual assault,鈥� she said.

鈥淭he idea that some women are more at risk than others is a massive myth in rape culture that SlutWalk seeks to dismantle.鈥�