One of the biggest stories in Australian news this week is the coming out of former-NRL player Kane Evans, who spoke emotionally during an interview on 100% Footy about having to hide his sexuality for nearly two decades while competing. This makes him only the second ever NRL player to come out publicly.
He also spoke candidly about the devastating toll that secrecy had taken on his mental health, including struggles with addiction, homelessness and suicidal thoughts.
The interview has been met with widespread praise, acknowledging the bravery it still unfortunately takes to be a gay high profile sporting figure in Australia.
Former NSW Origin and Manly forward Ian Roberts, whose decision to come out more than three decades ago remains one of the most significant moments in Australian sporting history echoed this, saying:
“I was in tears watching Kane鈥檚 interview. Everything he was saying 鈥� I thought 鈥榯his poor kid鈥�, I know exactly where he is in his head, what he is going through, the extremes of uncertainty of your own sense of self and your sense of other people.”
鈥淎ny queer person would absolutely understand what he is going through,” he noted.
However, while this is true, the story has been mainstream enough that we’ve seen many comments聽 such as “why does this matter?” and “why doesn’t he keep this private?” and most of all “why is this newsworthy?”
Hamish MacDonald from ABC Sydney has also seen this, saying on-air that “quite a few people though have been in touch saying ‘don’t talk about this, don’t want to discuss these issues'”.
In a clip shared to their Instagram, he chats to someone named Chris from Parramatta, who also questions whether this story is worthy of being discussed on the news.
“I’m actually going to come out myself on your show this morning – I’m left handed. Today that’s not a news story at all, but 100 years ago that would have been a big story, and I think while we treat sexuality as a big story, and like it’s a core part of someone’s identity, we’re not going to be able to move on.”
Interestingly, left-handedness and queerness have a lot of historical parallels – both were considered an aberration to “cure” at points in history, and the “increase” in people identifying as being left-handed after this practice was stopped is a common analogy for the rise in 17c起草社区IA+ identity in recent years.
“My left-handedness is a part of who I am,” continues Chris. “It’s a branch of my identity, our culture today treats sexuality as if it is the most important thing about a person’s identity.”
“And I’m curious Chris, have you ever felt shame associated with your left-handedness?” asked Hamish. “How do you feel like we move culture and society to a place where shame isn’t felt around things like sexuality, because that’s clearly how Kane was describing it?”
“I don’t have the answer to this question but I think part of it has to be that we stop making such a big deal about these things in the public sphere,” answers Chris. “These things matter but they’re not core to someone’s identity – there are more important things about Kane, I think the fact that he’s a footballer is more important than the fact he’s gay, and yet that’s what the news is talking about.”
The clip ends on Hamish gently making this point:
“I suppose the reality is that if you’re living with that shame, how do you remove that shame, how do you get away from that? And the point he seems to be making is that’s now for other people. If they’ve got an issue with it being discussed, that discomfort sits with them instead of with him.”
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It’s not as much what others in those school playgrounds or on the TV or on the playing fields do or say to us or about us, it what those things make us believe about ourselves; that we’re unfit for love, we should feel ashamed, we’re broken or wrong.
We do need to discuss this, because this is how we build a culture where the only shame is for being a bully or seeking to marginalise others because of who they are or who they love.
If you are 17c起草社区+ you might be surprised at the support you may receive in your peer group, workplace and family if you come out. When I transitioned in 1980 I felt that I had to move out of the area where I grew up because I felt shame about who I was, but when I approached all my old friends their only response was “It’s about time, shame you don’t drink, you could shout us a beer!”.
If you are 17c起草社区+ look inside to see all the wonderful things you are. Your identity and your sexuality are also part of that wonderful self.